There’s a quiet art to sleep. We don’t think of it as art, of course. Most of us tumble into bed at the end of the day and hope we wake up without too many aches in the morning. But the truth is, the way we lie down, the mattress beneath us, the give of it, the way it cradles or resists, it all shapes whether we wake up rested or stiff as old timber.
For years, people have argued about mattress firmness, the soft vs firm mattress debate, as though there’s a single answer that fits everyone. But there isn’t. The body is personal, stubborn, and unique. What’s comfort to one back is torment to another. What’s support to one hip is pain to someone else’s. And then there’s the way you sleep, the side curlers, the back sprawlers, the belly-down battlers, each one needing something a little different.
Explaining Mattress Firmness for Every Sleep Style
So, soft, medium, firm or extra firm? The choice isn’t just about preference. It’s about matching the sleep position you naturally fall into with the mattress that helps, rather than hinders, the way you rest.
The Battle Between Soft and Firm
Let’s start with the old pub debate: soft vs firm mattress. It’s one of those questions that stirs people up like a footy rivalry. One mate swears by sinking into something that hugs him like a doona cocoon, while another can’t sleep unless the mattress feels like a slab of hardwood under his shoulders.
A soft mattress feels forgiving. It yields to the curves of your body. For light sleepers or those who shift around a lot, it can be like lying in a gentle hollow. The downside? Too much softness and your spine sags, your hips dip lower than they should, and you wake with that tell-tale pinch in the lower back.
A firm mattress, on the other hand, resists. It holds your frame up, keeps the spine straighter, and stops you from sinking. Great for support, but if it’s too hard, pressure builds on shoulders, hips, knees, anywhere bone meets surface. You can toss and turn all night, chasing comfort that never quite comes.
The truth is, the right firmness isn’t about choosing sides in the soft vs firm mattress argument. It’s about balance, and more importantly, it’s about the position you sleep in.
Side Sleepers: The Curl of Comfort
Most Australians sleep on their side. It’s a natural position, curling up like you’re trying to fend off the winter chill. But side sleeping puts pressure on the shoulders and hips. Those are the two points that take the brunt of your body weight.
For side sleepers, a mattress that’s too firm is brutal. You’ll feel it first in the shoulder that carries the weight, the ache radiating down your arm. The hip digs in, twisting the spine out of line. Over time, that misalignment doesn’t just mean a sore morning, it can stir up bigger issues with posture and joints.
This is where medium or medium-soft mattresses shine. They offer enough give to cushion shoulders and hips, letting them sink just enough so the spine stays aligned, not bowed like an old fence post. A bit of contour, a bit of softness, but not so much that you’re swallowed.
If you’ve ever woken with a numb arm or that stabbing pain in your hip, odds are your mattress is too firm for your side sleeping habit.
Back Sleepers: The Weight of the Spine
Back sleepers are fewer in number but often smug about it. Doctors tend to say it’s the healthiest way to sleep, straight spine, no twist in the neck, weight evenly spread. But that’s only true if the mattress plays along.
On a mattress that’s too soft, the lower back drops, forming a sag. That puts stress on the lumbar region, the spot most prone to those dull aches that make mornings miserable.
Back sleepers usually do best on medium-firm or firm mattresses. The mattress needs to hold the spine’s natural curve, not flatten it or exaggerate it. Too much firmness, though, can mean the shoulders and buttocks don’t sink in at all, leaving you perched uncomfortably like you’re lying on a park bench.
It’s a fine balance, firm enough to support, soft enough to accommodate the body’s natural shape.
Stomach Sleepers: The Rare Breed
Sleeping on your stomach is rare, and for good reason. It’s the least kind to the body. The neck twists to the side, the chest presses down, and the spine strains under the weight. Still, some people can’t sleep any other way.
For stomach sleepers, a soft mattress is a recipe for pain. The hips sag, dragging the spine into an unnatural bend. Over time, it’s a shortcut to lower back pain.
A firmer mattress is better here, something medium-firm to firm, keeping the hips lifted and the spine straighter. It’s not perfect, no mattress can make stomach sleeping entirely healthy, but it’s the lesser evil.
Combination Sleepers: The Restless Mob
Then there are the restless ones. You start on your side, roll to your back, maybe end up on your stomach by morning. For combination sleepers, the mattress needs to be versatile, supportive enough for the back, forgiving enough for the side.
A medium mattress often works best here. It’s the middle ground, not too soft, not too hard. Responsive materials, like designs that mix springs with foam, can be helpful. They adjust as you move, giving support where it’s needed without locking you into one position.
Extra Firm: Who Really Needs It?
Extra firm mattresses are a special case. Some people swear by them, often heavier sleepers who find softer mattresses sag too much under their weight. The rigidity keeps their spine aligned and prevents that hammock effect.
But for most average-weight sleepers, extra firm feels like lying on the ground. The body doesn’t get the cushioning it needs, especially at pressure points. Unless your doctor recommends it for specific back issues, or you genuinely find it comfortable, extra firm isn’t the universal solution it’s sometimes made out to be.
How to Test the Right Firmness
Choosing a mattress isn’t about standing in a showroom and pressing your palm into the surface. You need to lie down. Really lie down, in your natural sleep position, let your body relax and stay there for a while.
- Side sleepers: Notice if your shoulder feels jammed or your hip digs in. Your spine should feel level, not like it’s dipping.
- Back sleepers: Slip a hand under your lower back. If there’s a big gap, the mattress is too firm. If your back sinks like a hammock, it’s too soft.
- Stomach sleepers: Check if your hips are higher than your chest. They should be.
And remember, the mattress needs to suit both you and your partner. Compromise is often part of the deal.
Beyond Firmness: Other Factors That Matter
While firmness is key, it’s not the whole story. Materials matter too. Memory foam, latex, pillowtop designs, they each have their quirks. Memory foam contours, latex gives bounce and breathability, zoned springs and foam combine support with softness.
Body weight also plays a role. A mattress that feels firm to a lighter person may feel medium to someone heavier.
And then there’s age. As we get older, joints grow more sensitive. What once felt supportive may now feel unyielding. A little extra cushioning can make all the difference.
The Poetry of Rest
At the end of the day, choosing between soft, medium, firm or extra firm isn’t about following trends or listening to the loudest voice at the barbecue. It’s about knowing yourself, your body, your habits, your pains and comforts.
The bed is the one place we spend a third of our lives. It should work with us, not against us.
The soft vs firm mattress debate will go on, no doubt, but the wiser question is this: what does my sleep position need? That’s where comfort lives, where the spine finds its rest, and where mornings stop being a battle and start being something better, clearer, calmer, pain-free.
Because sleep isn’t just unconscious hours in the dark. It’s repair. It’s relief. It’s the quiet work that lets us face another day.
If you’re ready to find the mattress that works with you, not against you, take a look at the range at Simply The Best. Soft, medium, firm or extra firm, each is crafted to suit different sleep styles and bodies. Because the right mattress isn’t just about how you lie down at night, it’s about how you feel when you wake up in the morning: rested, comfortable, and ready for the day ahead.
